Treat yourself like you love yourself… even if you don’t. 

I’m not going to tell you to love yourself. We’ve all heard it, we all know we’re supposed to do it. But quite frankly, it’s not that simple. If it were, insecurities and depression would be much less common. Suicide would be more rare of an occurrence. And people wouldn’t need to be told to do it. 

That is why I say treat yourself like you love yourself, even if you don’t. 

I’ve heard about this type of technique being used in marriage counseling. To be loving towards your spouse, even when you don’t feel it. When you act lovingly towards another person, you bring out the best in them. You see past their flaws and start to see the person they have the potential to be. You learn to appreciate them in a way you couldn’t before because you may have been distracted by the things you maybe don’t like about them – pet peeves, differences in opinion, etc. If you magnify their flaws and complain about them all the time, they may feel reduced to that and question their own worth. They may forget that they have the ability to rise above and improve themselves. They may become focused on their imperfections in a negative light and get trapped, forgetting about the beauty and purposes their life is meant for. But, when you are loving towards someone, they have room to become better. They feel valued and may even begin to see their own potential. They may learn to look past their own flaws and focus on their strengths and gifts instead, which will help them find their purpose and grow into the person they were designed to be. If you treat yourself lovingly, the same changes can happen with your self-image.  

There may be things you don’t like about yourself, which is completely fine. We all have room for improvement, we all have flaws. But we are all God’s creation, part of his plan and design, and we all have different purposes and are uniquely made to fit the exact purpose that we are meant to fulfill. Our flaws don’t define us, unless we let them.

And some of what we often see as flaws aren’t really flaws at all. They are what make us unique. My crooked nose isn’t a flaw. My God created it that way, who am I to insult His design? My so-called lack of fashion sense isn’t a flaw. We all have different tastes and preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that. When we insult the appearance of ourselves and others, we are insulting our Creator. Just some food for thought.  

If either of my children were to struggle with self-loathing, it would absolutely crush me. They are so beautiful. So perfect. They are God’s creation. To the mommas out there, I know you feel the same way about your own children. If you ever question your own value, just look at them and remember, God chose you to bring those amazing little people into this world. You’re not always going to have the right answers or make the right choices as a parent, but you aren’t called to be perfect. You’re called to trust Him, and in trusting Him that includes trusting that you are who you are for a reason. You are called to forgive… your kids, as well as yourself, for the mistakes that you make. And you are chosen for the task of being their mother, with all the blessings and battles that come with it. Being a mom is the greatest purpose that I could ever have, but it is also the scariest, which is why I need God to help me. I can’t do it on my own. I didn’t create them, He did, and I need His guidance to know what is best for them. They will learn the importance of loving themselves based on the examples that my husband and I set for them. I can’t hate myself and expect them to believe that it’s right for them to love themselves. And as much as it would hurt for me to see my kids miss the beauty of who they are, of who God created them to be, how much more must it hurt God to see His people, His own creation, hating His very design. 

The Bible says to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), which must mean that we are supposed to love ourselves. If you struggle with that, seek after the One who made you. Treat yourself like you love yourself, and I pray that in doing so you discover the beauty in the creation that looks back at you when you look in the mirror. Take care of yourself, just as you would take care of your kids… because you love them, because they are God’s creation. Take care of God’s creation… take care of you. And eventually, you will learn to love the person you are meant to be. <3