I wrote this almost 6 years ago when my daughter was less than a year old. As I was reflecting back on an amazing Mother’s Day weekend, I remembered these thoughts…

I was driving behind a vehicle the other day with a bumper sticker that read “Children are a gift from God.” But are they really? It is a common statement, which I have always agreed with, but it struck me a little differently when I read it the other day. Maybe because I am a mother now… I began to really think about that statement, and the more I thought about it the less it made sense. When you give someone a gift, it no longer belongs to you in any form or fashion. It is fully theirs to do whatever they want with it… whether they take care of it, destroy it, give it away, throw it out… it doesn’t matter what they do with it, it is now theirs, and they will do whatever is most convenient for them. If children are a gift, then that must mean that we are free to do whatever we want with them.

I think it may just be a misstatement to say that children are a gift. It may be well-intentioned, but I think it has an underlying implication of entitlement which separates us from the sense of responsibility that we must have when it comes to children. When I look at my daughter, yes, I do see my daughter, but I also know that she is not really mine. I know that I was used in her creation, but I did not create her, and she does not belong to me. She has been entrusted to me for the time that she is in my care, and what I do with that time will affect her and the person that she will become. Which is why, regardless of how much joy and fulfillment she brings to my life, I cannot see her as a “gift.” She is part of my purpose now, which will continuously shape me as a person. My choices will now affect her life, which makes me that much more responsible for every choice that I make, and why all of my choices from now on are that much more significant. I may have played a part in bringing her into the world, but that was my choice, not hers. And she is now an individual with her own mind, which is why I cannot just do whatever is most convenient for me but rather I must try to do what is best for her as well. It is my responsibility, not my choice. My choice now is to try not to screw up. God, please help me know how…

Perspective. It’s a funny thing. The way we see something is often the way we determine what is truth. 

One thing I have learned over the past 6 years and another munchkin later, is that parenting is freaking HARD. And the fear of doing the “wrong” thing for your child… it can be immeasurably intense. But it is so comforting to know that God has a specific plan for each of them. And that no matter how much I screw up, He never does. I hope and pray that they learn from what I do right, as well as from what I do wrong, and that they grow in wisdom when they are left to make their own life choices. 

So cheers to all the other mommas out there who are just trying not to screw it all up. No matter where you’re at in your mothering journey, there is much to be learned, much to be shared, and much to look forward to. 

Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.