To be honest, I didn’t want to share that I was reading this book, Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. Sharing this exposes some of my weaknesses and vulnerability. But I decided to share it based on: 1) Lysa TerKeurst was brave enough to write it and pour her heart out; and 2) it’s a bestseller, which means that there must be a LOT of other women out there also reading it. So I am sharing it in hopes of helping someone else who may be dealing with the same struggles, because I highly recommend it.

If I had to sum up this past year in 2 words, those words would be “blessed” and “lonely.”

This past year I left my full-time job and came home to be a full-time homeschool mom. Let me first say, I am so thankful for the opportunity to homeschool my kids. I’ve prayed for this since my daughter was teeny tiny, and consider it a great blessing. We have had an amazing time attending field trips and meet ups with other local homeschool families, and feel very blessed to have the opportunities that we do.

However, I have never felt more lonely in my life.

A little background… when my husband and I got married, I was working 2 jobs, always surrounded by people. I quit my part time job 2 months before my daughter was born and became a full-time working mom. That lasted for 7 1/2 years. In other words, I’ve known no different as a mom.

Between work and home life demands, I felt like I rarely had time for anything in between. Meeting new people, or even seeing the friends I did have outside of work, was a rare occurrence. But friends at work were always there, and I could depend on that. I would look forward to seeing them, sharing stories, having a chat in the break room. I was fortunate to work at a great place with great people. And as much as I wanted this change to be home, I really do miss my old coworkers. 

A Whole New World.

This new world of being a full time at home momma has been exciting and scary, rewarding and lonely, normal and foreign, all at the same time. And there is much more lonely than I could have imagined. Not only am I no longer surrounded by people all day, but we also moved away from everyone we know. So the mommas that I do know who are available during the week are all too far away for us to hang out with now. 

I have always considered myself a “loner,” introverted, shy, all of the basically anti-social descriptions I can think of. But I think I craved alone time more before because I didn’t have any. Like, EVER. Now things are entirely different, and I feel like I’m always alone. (well, with my kids, but you know what I mean) And I am the WORST at meeting new people. The. Worst. I’m working on it though. 

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from this book. But one thing I have learned so far is the fact that I have trust issues on levels that I didn’t realize. Trust issues that separate me from people and from God. 

I’m not even halfway through this book but I already see it being a great tool in getting through this lonely season. Because it is just a season. I believe a growing season, and I look forward to what’s on the other side.