There is nothing that tests my faith more than when my kids are sick. I hate to admit that. My prayers make me feel like a whiny child when my kids are sick or hurting. Seriously.

I pray for healing and quick recovery. And when that doesn’t happen, I whine at God like He’s a parent who didn’t give me a cookie for breakfast.

I beg God to let me take on their sickness so they don’t have to suffer. Then I worry, ridiculously, when they are suffering.

I ponder whether they will end up in the hospital. This one I feel a bit justified in, considering my son repeatedly ended up in the hospital from asthma when he was around 1 1/2 – 2 years old. That was pretty dang scary. I think I’m traumatized from it.

Why do I even bother?

I found myself praying this question the other night. My kids were both sick and miserable. My daughter’s birthday party had been cancelled because of her sickness, and we were on the verge of cancelling plans to go to LEGOLAND that we had been looking forward to for almost a year. They had to miss a field trip to see Pinocchio on stage. It felt like all kinds of good things were being robbed from my kids because of this crud that I had prayed and prayed God would heal them from, or let me take on for them.

I whined at God, like an immature child, because I didn’t get what I asked for. I thought about families that I know who have experienced true suffering, not just cold and flu suffering… and I felt ashamed. I wondered how I could possibly struggle with trusting God when my kids were simply sick. Just a regular kind of germ-catching, all-the-kids-have-it-right-now, sick.

So that night as I lay on the couch, when they had both finally fallen asleep and I was left in the peaceful silence, I changed my prayers and humbly asked God,

“What should I actually be praying for?”

The verse Philippians 4:13 came to mind, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” So I began praying for strength for my kids to get through their illnesses. I began to pray for strength for myself and my husband, to be strong for them.

Then the verse John 16:33 came to my mind, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” This has always been one of my favorite verses in difficult times. We are not promised a life without trouble. We are told, very plainly, that we will have trouble in this world. God is not our genie to poof away our problems. This world is not our home. We are going to suffer from time to time. But this world is temporal, and God is eternal. That is where my comfort lies.

I’m sure I’ll find myself whining at God again. And I’m sure He will gently remind me of His promises again. Because He is faithful. And in that, I can be sure.